Love Thy Self

5 Apr


Sometimes when in the throes of some kind of drama, be it relational, financial, work, family, kids, emotional,…we forget the one most important thing. That is to take care of one’s self. Because of all that may be happening and our mind might be preoccupied with the subject at hand,…we lose sight of the most important person to us. Our SELF. This is unfortunate because it generates so much negativity into our lives. When we don’t place our self in the number one status, we lose the ability to take care of those around us. How could we if we can’t even be good to our own person? Some people think that giving begins with others. That is a great concept, but if our own person isn’t intact…that is all it is, a concept. Not a viable one, either. It has too many holes in it to be solid. In my mind the holes take the form of low self esteem, self worth, self love, some lack of some kind. It seems to me it is kind of like trying to ‘look’ like one is trying to ‘be’ this giving or whatever type of person. In reality, as the saying goes, ‘ you can’t love someone else until you love yourself ‘, still stands on all fronts. So, the bottom line is to learn to be good to one’s self first. When, even in the midst of life’s trials and tribulations, one is able to take care of their self spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially, then there is something to offer others. Love

In every person’s life they get to a point that they want to share their life with another. This usually begins at a pretty young age. There is great hope and promise upon meeting a new person no matter what age. But, when we are young, we aren’t as tainted as we might be when time goes by. For myself, after many years of heart breaks and hurt feelings, this has become something I wouldn’t want to jump into right away with another. It has also caused other consequences in my mental make-up. I got to a point of not wanting anyone in my life ever and wouldn’t give a man the time of day. This became a pretty lonely spot to be in after some time.

I have now been single for quite a long time and have found that feeling reemerging again. The feeling of wanting someone important to me in my life. That someone I can confide in and share interests and live life together. I am interested in finding that ‘right guy’ or the guy that is fitting for me and me for him. I think in order to get what you want, you have to become that type of person that has what you want to offer. For me, that began with working on my attitude and my thinking. Well, the thinking part does dictate the attitude, really. If we think negative, we will have a bad attitude and if we have positive thinking, we are bound to have a good attitude. So, that lead me to my first step of ‘man-hating’ recovery, if you will. Honestly, I never have hated men but my stand-off behavior might have told others a different story.

It was really a beautiful awakening and very liberating because just as misery loves company,…positive thinking and behavior also instigates more positive things. I felt like I had awoke from a bad dream of feeling like crap and feeling lonely. I did not yet have a man but when I decided to change myself, so I could be the best me possible, great feelings about myself started to happen. I no longer had that feeling of dread that I had grown used to waking up to. I stopped having so many down moments controlling my living life. My true, happy, loving, kind, giving, grateful self started to be more prevalent in my life. I began feeling good about me. Now, here was a starting place!

I began feeling more solid with my happiness. I became happy to be with myself. I stopped the beating the self with a club syndrome. Is there such a thing, really? Well, if there isn’t, there should be because it sure felt like it was real. But, you have to know that anything you focus on is actually real to the person doing the focusing.

Now, here I was having a good ol’ time being with myself. I wanted more and I became open to meeting someone. I opened my being to the possibility. In doing that, I also became a little more happier. I found more of me in the opening up process and got to know myself a little bit more. It has been quite the experience getting to know myself and accepting me in the process, for just being me. It has truly become one of my best life’s experiences and enlightening, to say the least.

In truth, I am still open to meeting someone. I haven’t met ‘the one’, yet. I am not out there in the world throwing myself at it, but I am open to it. The great thing that I found is myself. When I became willing to be open to meeting someone, I met the most important person I know…ME. I am grateful for that and for all the blessings that have been a by-product of that search. I am a lucky woman and I know I will meet a great person because of it.

So, the bottom line, I found, is when deciding to try to be with someone else, it is important to find yourself first. I think in the search there are so many great things to learn. I also think that each person has to find those wonderful things their self because we are all different and have so many unique traits. It is a great experience to find one’s self and gives the greatest feelings towards the self. Love Thy Self would be the watch words.

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