Archive | April, 2017


26 Apr

Gray can be a rather meaningful word. For some people, seeing the gray, and not just the black and white, find it rather challenging. But, I think the gray is a not-so-bad place to be. The gray can be the most difficult to master because it will mean one would have to overcome their idiosyncrasies. The all or nothing attitude would have to become obsolete in order to live in the gray.

For many, if you don’t do it my way, it’s the highway. That would be an example of the black and white. On the other hand if there are some type of agreements or compromises, you could say that person has the ability to see the gray. It’s the place where one might find that being right isn’t always the best way. Being okay to choose happiness versus being right is one of the main keys to a more serene way of life.

It might be said that not all people want to be happy and that being right is more important. My heart goes out to those people as I know first-hand that it feels much better to choose the opposite. Being not so right for the sake of happiness is always the answer for me. It is also rather amusing to me that I started off talking about the gray to come out at the other end expounding about happiness. That lovely gray!



25 Apr

The word zip has many uses in the English language, as well as the slang we use in the USA. It is also the basis of longer words in which we use to portray happiness, such as zippity doo dah, zippity day! Make no mistake about it zip is alive! We often find ourselves saying zip it up in the event that someone needs to shut their mouth, perhaps. Or, we think they need to, anyway. As well as shutting up, we can zip it up, as is the case of our coats. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say zip it down except to unzip in the case of a coat, again. There may be those who may state, “in a zip”, but I haven’t heard that often, if ever. It comes to my attention that in a zip could be used if one is to infer the business of hurrying up. The most recent of all zips is in the process of zip linin’ in which you ride a safety belt on a wire of some type. That is very entertaining if you like to ride in the air and for a short moment, for all the work that is involved. Then we have the usual zip code which most people possess by virtue of the location of where they are living. This gives us a sense of direction. So, the word zip has many applications of which have various meanings. Zippers could be considered if we turned into a noun. And, of course zipped to imply the doing of the zippers. So, zip this, zip that. Zip is the word of this chat!

In General

19 Apr

Thinking about what am I going to actually do with my future. My plan is to sell everything and move to North Carolina. I would like to figure out how to have a writing career.

Right now, I have been getting things ready in my home so it WILL sell. That is quite the task. I know I can do it, but I would like it to be done right now. My life is really an open-ended journey because I have opted out of my career due to it being physical beyond belief and my body is saying no to it. I am a pipefitter and welder, by trade. I have been doing that for 25 years. Let me tell you, this change is big.

Not being as active as usual is one big change, but I like it. I like not feeling like I got ran over by a truck after eight hours of work. I really like not taking any grief from some chauvinist on the job, be it the foreman or otherwise. It is so nice being treated nice even if it is just by my own self. I love living in a stress-free environment. I believe it is better for any one person’s health.

Being as busy as I have been has caused me to sway away from writing. By the time I would sit down, I was really too tired to do anything about it. I am learning new things along the way. Time management is but one small element of becoming a writer. I look at the ads for freelance work and see the criteria and get a little scared. So, I am stuck. I write every morning, but nothing I would consider blog worthy.

I live by the Law of Attraction and believe all good things are coming my way. I often ask what I should be doing to MAKE what I want happen. But, as I understand it, once I ask, the next is to let the Universe deliver, then the last step is to receive. That isn’t the easiest thing to do because I live with the human condition.

I know I am rambling, but what the hell, it’s a beginning, on some level. Thanks for reading and thank you to those who are following. I really appreciate you all and it makes me feel better about doing this thing.


14 Apr

This is definitely a lesson in freeing the mind to put on paper what we otherwise might not do. To make the conscious decision to also do this on an open forum is quite interesting. I wouldn’t even mind to hear other peoples’ thoughts about what I write or what the reader chooses to write.

Well, truth be known I try to stay pretty active especially while the television is playing. It is my son in there sitting on the couch watching the telly after a long day’s work. I can actually appreciate the time spent doing nothing. I, personally, just don’t enjoy tv unless it’s a movie or something funny. I take great care in what I allow into my mind. I am rather picky about it, too.

Now, onto a new thought, I suppose. I went to the doctor today. I swear that is not my usual behavior. I decided to go have this osteoarthritis looked at. I also got some meds, but that is for the fibromyalgia they say I have. I try not to believe any of that since when I think about it, it seems to be worse. I am going to try the meds again to see if they might do something. I only remember last time, about 10 years ago when I took meds, that I didn’t like them. They made my head feel funny. However, I am in a much different spot.

It seems that I am a little more than half way through the assignment. Anyway, even though it was probably  a good thing that I went to the doc, I went through a big head-trip over the whole ordeal. It has been a rough couple of weeks of fatigue and pain, but I have a way of just moving through it in spite of myself. Since it is unimportant that I had a head-trip, what is important is that I figured out what I do need to do. I am going to try, one more time, to take the meds and take the advice to start being physically active on purpose.

What I mean is that I am very active, anyway. I stay busy. Before I started this writing, I did 5 minutes on the elliptical. Doesn’t seem like a lot until you do it after not having worked out in a pretty long while. So, in spite of my stubborn nature, I am doing what I was told I needed to do. I have to see if it works. I have to build up to 30 minutes in 3 months. I just wonder if I can do that sooner than prescribed.

The dogs next door are barking because they want my dogs to come out and hang out. They don’t really play because there is a chain-linked fence separating them. Nonetheless, the four of them, two are mine and two are the neighbors, love hanging outside together. When they are not out and I let mine out, Ruby will bark for them to come out and hang with her and Riley, her brother. It is rather precious.

Well, I am hoping that all of this didn’t bore anyone too much. I am down to the last three minutes of free flow writing. It was a little bit fun, if I say so myself. I am probably going to go to bed in a matter of a half an hour. I am also not so sure I can make the entire 20 minute. I am working on it, though. Actually, it isn’t so much work.

Tomorrow will be a wonderful day. I also believe I will have the best night of sleep! I am preparing my sleep time as well as my day time. I predict it to be a great day, full of wonder, learning, health, and well-being. It is going to be a productive day. I love productive days. I also love lazy days. Ahhh! I am down to seconds. Probably 145 seconds. I am guessing. Anyway, my sleep is going to be so restful on the wonderful bed I own.

I started eating healthier today. I had a spinach salad for dinner with nuts, celery, carrots, green pepper, and cucumber. It was delish! I got the spinach out of my garden. Super yummy! Everyone, I send you love and peace. Signing OUT! Practice over.

Getting Upset

12 Apr

I have to say that every time I get upset, I find, in the long run, that if I had just thought of other perspectives, I might have not had to be ad in the first place. I do have to add, though, that it is difficult to say the least, to keep your cool when someone does something to aggravate you

Even in the event of me getting upset, I try my hardest to see what might have been or what was what from the other person’s perspective. I don’t always succeed, but I try nonetheless. I look for the positive things in the situation so I can move away from the negative feelings that have taken over me. Rather, it seems like they take over. They really only get bigger if I maintain my focus on what I thought might have been the injustice.

It is much better if I find that better feeling thought, look for the positive in the circumstance, realize that there are always two sides to every coin, and remember that the other person may have their own version of the facts. It is never a one-way street when we interact with the people around us. That is not to say that it doesn’t feel like a one-way street but it isn’t.

One of the things I do try to do is to think of the good things about the person, knowing that my vision might be a little distorted because I feel I have been done wrong. They can literally be things like the person is a good parent, they really do mean well, they have my best interest at heart, and many other little things I appreciate about them. Then, when I come back into contact and just listen to them, I usually find they have their own view about things that I didn’t even consider.

So, in closing, I think it really boils down to whether I want to be right or do I want to be happy. I like to think I opt for happiness every time. That is not always the case, but maybe if I just keep thinking like that, it really will come to pass!

Power of Thought

6 Apr

So, it has come to my attention, via life, that if I think well, I do well. Positive things come easier to me when I am in the right vibration. That means that I care about what thoughts and beliefs I am having. It stands to reason that if you think about something long enough, you will eventually believe it. That is why I care about what I think. It isn’t necessary for me to look very far to find the proof of that thought process. All that is necessary is for me to look immediately around me.

For example, for some weird reason I get on some tangent about someone else’s problems and how they should be acting or not. I have those very private conversations in the recesses of my mind to which not a single soul, except mine, is aware of. So, on and on it goes. I leave the house to go do an errand or possibly visit someone and lo and behold I get stuck in a mad traffic jam. HA! I told you things sucked. I have to laugh at this because I created that very negative circumstance all on my own.  And, I did it all without a single thought as to the fact that it was the very negativity I was propagating.

On the flipside of that coin is me feeling really great, deliberately enjoying the day, and boom! the day goes beautifully. I even come across very nice strangers. As it were, I get a nice card in the mail and my son brings me a nice present. I also created this for myself. However, the difference is that I paid attention to my mind and what it was trying to think about. If it started going down memory lane of some kind, I changed the tracks upon which it was wanting to ride. I chose to think different so I could be different and so my day would run smoother.

It has become a practice for me to be cognizant of the thoughts running through my mind. I am more intentional because I want more for myself. I like the nicer and kinder things in life. They feel so much better than the alternative. I have an expectation of good times and things in my life and I receive them. I could also expect the opposite and would surely receive that, too. It’s just a matter of choosing. I am not saying those habits of thinking are easy to break, but I am saying it is possible. I have done a great deal of work on my own thoughts. And, whew! what a relief!!!

I spent many years wondering why so many crappy things happened ‘to me’. And, believe me, there were some crappy things. I finally came to a place in life that I thought what the hell, and I began making changes. I read good information, I wrote a lot, searched a magnanimous amount, and in time,…I began to see that things were changing. Of course, I would revert to old behavior and thinking, then finally jump off that merry-go-round. I have done that more than imaginable really.

We humans can be a bit stubborn, so if you have just started your journey or have been on a purposeful one, be sure to be kind to yourself. Be ok with the times that feel less than what is expected. We will have those times that we need to learn something or know new things. Be as graceful through those times because it will definitely pay off in due time. The very most important, love yourself through the seemingly lesser moments and trust that all is well. Think of something pleasant and expand on that to move away from the problems in you mind. It may take a while but is well worth the effort!

Hanging Out With Alzheimer’s

5 Apr

Years ago we found out my father had Alzheimer’s. It was a surprise, to say the least. It was also rather disturbing. His behavior became very peculiar in that he was behaving in ways that were just not him. It was difficult because, at this time, we didn’t really know that is what he had. We started to suspect something to do with the brain. He was finally officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

I think this is the biggest trick played on our elders, really. It takes their ability to rationalize normally and they forget immediate things. They ask over and over the same things because they don’t have that part of their brain operating. Eventually, this moves into all aspects like long term memory, who they know, where they live, what they are doing from one moment to the next, and who they are them self. It is very heart breaking and sad. From this alone, the grieving process begins of the loss of a loved one. That is just the first grief process.

I have been lucky enough to have only gone through that part. I still have my dad. Yeah, he doesn’t remember a lot, asks the same questions over and over, is demanding, bossy, confused, wets his self sometimes, forgets who he is and forget who I am, at times. I have to add that he is also very upbeat most of the time, funny, still an excellent Gin Rummy player (and beats me often!), and enjoys being around his kids. He will sometimes not sleep because he thinks we are only joining him for a short visit. We are really here often. I think it has helped him greatly.

I have to be honest in saying that when this 24 hour care for my father began, I was not the best at it. In fact, I was probably the worst because I couldn’t see him as having a disease. It took me quite a long time to differentiate my dad from Alzheimer’s dad. It has been one of the biggest learning processes I have ever come across. Alzheimer’s can be very confusing and mind boggling to the care takers. It was to me, anyway. I guess some people deal with it better than others. I never was the nurse type.

I had to learn a better way than being angry and frustrated with Alzheimer’s. It made me feel awful because I would be short with my dad. It was difficult to deal with the disconnect of his mind from reality and what was really going on around him. It drove me crazy, to be honest. I hated it and I resented having to be in the position of care taker on any level. It took me quite some time to get through this. I still had resentment from childhood and when my dad would behave in certain ways, it was like I was a kid again. I had great grief over this.

What I now think is that all of that was necessary to make me get over and move on from all that resentment. I am thankful for that now. I am grateful that there has been enough time to do that with my dad. I have grown to love him in a new and healthier way.

I now enjoy knowing I have to go to his house and take care of him. I take care of him five to six days a week. I am with him for six hours for four days and eight hours for one. Sometimes, to fill in, I work six. Anyway, I decided that I needed to change my attitude about my situation with my dad and everything got better. I began to make a point to think of my time with him as a gift of time. A gift that I will not always have. I learned to hear him differently. I stopped thinking he was trying to control me. I now look at it as he needs to be certain ways to feel like he has control over something. I don’t care anymore if that thing is me. I only care that he has any kind of grip on any kind of reality that gives him some peace of mind.

The bottom line of all the problems with Alzheimer’s, the frustration, anger, sadness, or the loathing of the disease can be cured with a mind adjustment on the part of the care taker. Not that this will work for everyone. Not everyone needs to be in this position. This is for those that are and are going through the same symptoms I did. It is not the easiest thing to change but it can be done. I have grown greatly from this experience.

I have grown a great amount of patience with my dad and with other situations. I have become more kind because I have had to become more kind to my dad. I have become more easy to be around for my dad, hence easier for others. It pays to make positive changes for those that we love. It has changed me on many levels. I will always be grateful to my dad for many things not mentioned, but I will be especially grateful for the time I have spent with my dad while he has had Alzheimer’s. It has made me a better person.

I have found a new way of thinking and it began with reprogramming my mind. I searched the internet and came across many avenues but the one that stuck out is located at [] I am very grateful to have been given the opportunity to change.

Article Source:

Love Thy Self

5 Apr


Sometimes when in the throes of some kind of drama, be it relational, financial, work, family, kids, emotional,…we forget the one most important thing. That is to take care of one’s self. Because of all that may be happening and our mind might be preoccupied with the subject at hand,…we lose sight of the most important person to us. Our SELF. This is unfortunate because it generates so much negativity into our lives. When we don’t place our self in the number one status, we lose the ability to take care of those around us. How could we if we can’t even be good to our own person? Some people think that giving begins with others. That is a great concept, but if our own person isn’t intact…that is all it is, a concept. Not a viable one, either. It has too many holes in it to be solid. In my mind the holes take the form of low self esteem, self worth, self love, some lack of some kind. It seems to me it is kind of like trying to ‘look’ like one is trying to ‘be’ this giving or whatever type of person. In reality, as the saying goes, ‘ you can’t love someone else until you love yourself ‘, still stands on all fronts. So, the bottom line is to learn to be good to one’s self first. When, even in the midst of life’s trials and tribulations, one is able to take care of their self spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially, then there is something to offer others. Love

In every person’s life they get to a point that they want to share their life with another. This usually begins at a pretty young age. There is great hope and promise upon meeting a new person no matter what age. But, when we are young, we aren’t as tainted as we might be when time goes by. For myself, after many years of heart breaks and hurt feelings, this has become something I wouldn’t want to jump into right away with another. It has also caused other consequences in my mental make-up. I got to a point of not wanting anyone in my life ever and wouldn’t give a man the time of day. This became a pretty lonely spot to be in after some time.

I have now been single for quite a long time and have found that feeling reemerging again. The feeling of wanting someone important to me in my life. That someone I can confide in and share interests and live life together. I am interested in finding that ‘right guy’ or the guy that is fitting for me and me for him. I think in order to get what you want, you have to become that type of person that has what you want to offer. For me, that began with working on my attitude and my thinking. Well, the thinking part does dictate the attitude, really. If we think negative, we will have a bad attitude and if we have positive thinking, we are bound to have a good attitude. So, that lead me to my first step of ‘man-hating’ recovery, if you will. Honestly, I never have hated men but my stand-off behavior might have told others a different story.

It was really a beautiful awakening and very liberating because just as misery loves company,…positive thinking and behavior also instigates more positive things. I felt like I had awoke from a bad dream of feeling like crap and feeling lonely. I did not yet have a man but when I decided to change myself, so I could be the best me possible, great feelings about myself started to happen. I no longer had that feeling of dread that I had grown used to waking up to. I stopped having so many down moments controlling my living life. My true, happy, loving, kind, giving, grateful self started to be more prevalent in my life. I began feeling good about me. Now, here was a starting place!

I began feeling more solid with my happiness. I became happy to be with myself. I stopped the beating the self with a club syndrome. Is there such a thing, really? Well, if there isn’t, there should be because it sure felt like it was real. But, you have to know that anything you focus on is actually real to the person doing the focusing.

Now, here I was having a good ol’ time being with myself. I wanted more and I became open to meeting someone. I opened my being to the possibility. In doing that, I also became a little more happier. I found more of me in the opening up process and got to know myself a little bit more. It has been quite the experience getting to know myself and accepting me in the process, for just being me. It has truly become one of my best life’s experiences and enlightening, to say the least.

In truth, I am still open to meeting someone. I haven’t met ‘the one’, yet. I am not out there in the world throwing myself at it, but I am open to it. The great thing that I found is myself. When I became willing to be open to meeting someone, I met the most important person I know…ME. I am grateful for that and for all the blessings that have been a by-product of that search. I am a lucky woman and I know I will meet a great person because of it.

So, the bottom line, I found, is when deciding to try to be with someone else, it is important to find yourself first. I think in the search there are so many great things to learn. I also think that each person has to find those wonderful things their self because we are all different and have so many unique traits. It is a great experience to find one’s self and gives the greatest feelings towards the self. Love Thy Self would be the watch words.

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Self Responsibility

5 Apr

You know, we all make choices in life and with those choices come responsibility. And, just because we make a decision about this or that does not mean we can expect everyone around us to participate in those choices. So, it would be my belief that it is imperative to be fully aware of the decisions and the consequences of those decisions, realizing that it is our own and not the responsibility of others to rectify or accommodate those things we opted for. And, when others don’t follow what we WANT doesn’t make them the bad guy. It only means those choices should be owned by the one who made them. It also doesn’t mean they are no longer our friend. It does mean that when making a decision it is imperative to know as best we can the long term ramifications of that decision. We must also know that others have to make their own choices and that we won’t always be on board to suffer their poor choices, either. So, when confronted on either account of two sides of the coin, don’t allow guilt make you do what you don’t want to do. And, we must always remember that our choices are our own responsibility.

Puppy Love

5 Apr

Puppy Love

I just looked over at my two pekignese and noticed them laying next to each other snuggled up. It was so precious. Their names are Ruby and Riley and they are brother and sister. Riley is a chocolate brown and white. He has big dark brown eyes and his face has a dark brown velvet look to it. His eyes are rather big for the size of his body. He is loving and easy-going. Ruby is a red and white color. She is a bundle of energy and also has eyes too big for her body. She is very funny and not as loving as her brother. She is a more stand-off kind of dog. Upon walking up to either dogs they will roll on their back expecting a belly rub. And, anytime Ruby sees that I have food, she is at my heals expecting her fair share. Lastly, and rather precious, is when Girl, the Akita, is laying around, Ruby and Riley will go over to her and love on her by licking her face and trying to lick in her ears. Girl isn’t always up for that, though.
Anyway, what I started out thinking about was the love these two dogs were showing each other when I looked over at them. I just thought if people were more inclined to give to one another in the same way that it would be a wonderful thing. It would make being alive just a little more easier knowing that this simple love is alive. People wouldn’t have to have their guards up so much. Playing and running around with each other would be the exercise for the day as it is for Ruby and Riley. Kissing each other just to show the love and rolling around then landing on their back to get a hug. What a day that would be. Once tiring of all this activity, simply picking a spot on the floor to doze off and dream of puppy things. That would be so nice, wouldn’t it?
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